Observations on Life
Who ever has the gold, makes the rules.
There's no such thing as a "simple little job around the house."
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Never step in anything soft.
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting.
The smallest interval of time id that between a traffic light turning green, and the car behind blowing its horn.
The other line always moves faster.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
All you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass in a crack in your concrete.